trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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