i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
