That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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