Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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