Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize