Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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