wrigley field is MILF paradise
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
