i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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