Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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