the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
