Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
