The maid of honor just puked.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize