Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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  (707): im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt. http://tfl.nu/7lkv
  Replies (25) Good night (1003) Bad night (491)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm jealous of your bromance

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  (313): I'm jealous of your bromance http://tfl.nu/rtiu
  Replies (2) Good night (1246) Bad night (641)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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  (313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj
  Replies (49) Good night (21143) Bad night (1101)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

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  (316): i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes http://tfl.nu/q5w9
  Replies (25) Good night (5557) Bad night (1690)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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  (917): she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in http://tfl.nu/g0n5
  Replies (12) Good night (3401) Bad night (1251)
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  (909): View more from California

  i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...

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  (909): i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here... http://tfl.nu/2c0q
  Replies (10) Good night (4001) Bad night (1103)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

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  (860): I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/69i0
  Replies (57) Good night (1502) Bad night (6846)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

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  (813): It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you. http://tfl.nu/aegn
  Replies (10) Good night (3236) Bad night (891)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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  (608): Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard. http://tfl.nu/diwn
  Replies (15) Good night (4648) Bad night (1149)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo

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  (250): Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo http://tfl.nu/a9s7
  Replies (6) Good night (1852) Bad night (970)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.

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  (586): Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country. http://tfl.nu/f3mx
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (587)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  This has been a Party Success Story

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  (719): The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets. (719): This has been a Party Success Story http://tfl.nu/swco
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone

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  (828): I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone http://tfl.nu/fll1
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (979)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?

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  (218): We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant? http://tfl.nu/7kck
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (686)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago

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  (217): if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago http://tfl.nu/bg9i
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (268)

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