I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.