i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!