i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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