I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
