belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
