'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
