If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
