I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
