Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
