You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
