I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
