I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
