i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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