at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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