So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize