You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm too high and old for this...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
