well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
