I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
worst night to have a conscience
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
