My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize