I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
