yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize