You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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