"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
