She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
