The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
