Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
