i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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