I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
