Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
