I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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