i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
