They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
