Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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