i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
