coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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