I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize