she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
