I think I won the penis lottery.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
