i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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