I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
