They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
