i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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