singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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