Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My ass is underappreciated
Life without a bra equals bliss.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
