the new term for farting is butt boxing.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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